I think you must have been coded into my very cells,
deeply embedded amongst my DNA,
strands of you coiled around
essential strands of me.
How else this inability
to erase you?
I put you out of my mind,
a tenant evicted, thrown out into empty streets,
a cat let out into the night air,
exiled from home but returned to nature
trying to untame the domesticated
or tame the wilderness.
I put you out of my mind
yet here you are
pulsing in my veins,
streaming hot red through my heart.
Trying not to think of you
my heart beats in three four timing,
your name waltzing in Spanish staccato,
the sharp quaver and grace note,
“my love”
How do I not think of you
when you are the movie’s score,
the opera’s libretto?
I fill my mind with the strains of Mendelssohn’s 64th Opera,
trying to sink you in melancholy ~
an alien landscape for you
hoping you will flee to more familiar terriotory.
You make yourself at home even here
and I find myself smiling your mischievous smile
into the darkness.
I am trying to turn the lights out on you
and your eyes are glowing.
I try to stifle you with silence
and still you sing.
I try to unravel you from my mind,
try to evict you from my home,
try to wipe your fingerprints from my skin,
your laughter from my throat,
your dimple from my face
and in that tiny gesture
of my hand on my cheek
soaking in tears
acknowledging their existence
I feel your touch.
You are still here
inside me
above me
beneath me.
To remove you from my world
is to take the living from my life.
4:53pm Monday
7.July.2003
(Cartoon courtesy of xkcd – go and check out his work and be sure to keep an eye on the alt text/titles he’s added to each!)
© Melinda Chambers. All posts are the creation of the author and, as such, remain the author's property with all rights reserved.
- Parting Words
- I miss your laughter…
- Hope Fell Apart: Blood and Tears
- Adultery
- I Am Sorry For Your Passionless Nights
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