The rules of attraction remain more or less the same throughout a relationship. Like attracts like. His interest in her is a magnet. Her interest in him, likewise. In the beginning, had either of them sensed a lack of interest, they’d not have pursued things any further. Why does anyone think that changes over time?
Sensing a waning in his feelings, she will approach the relationship the way anyone approaches a thing suspected dead: she gives it a little nudge with her toe, jumps back, and waits for a reaction.
No response.
So, she sidles up to the creature again, nudges a little harder. Again, no response. Perhaps she gives him a tiny pinch. Maybe he’s merely sleeping; eyes shut, oblivious to what’s right in front of him? He doesn’t budge. Not even a flutter of the eyelashes. The more persistent and patient of us may continue with gentle nudges but, in the face of an unmoving and unmoved being, she’ll either push so hard that he’ll be forced into action (generally, out of the bed…. or over a cliff); she’ll sit back and do nothing – hoping against hope for a sign of life; she’ll immediately start applying CPR which may result in a fatal overdose of hot, sweaty loving…or cracked ribs…. or permanent damage to mind and heart…
OR she will finally admit that she’s beating a dead horse, curtain off the corpse and prepare to bury her dead. She’ll say her goodbyes to mournful songs. She will shove everything he ever was six feet under and do her very best to move on. Depending on her nature, she may begin, there and then, to perform an autopsy – weighing and dissecting his innermost being. At this point, if he is unfortunate enough to still be alive, he’s going to find himself rapidly WISHING he were dead!
He had but to twitch at that first nudge but his eyes remained firmly closed. Perhaps he’s feeling bruised and mauled from all of those little pokes and proddings? She’d have stopped at the first had he responded. How was she to know she was hurting him? He never gave an indication that he felt anything at all.
Now he’s feeling buried alive and blames her for his feeling of imminent suffocation.
Show me indifference and I’ll show you the coffin the relationship will be buried in.
(Who says women are illogical and impractical?)
The rules of attraction remain more or less the same throughout a relationship. Like attracts like. Those who cannot prove a pulse need not apply.
© Melinda Chambers. All posts are the creation of the author and, as such, remain the author's property with all rights reserved.
- Can’t or Won’t?
- Final Analysis
- The Thing With Holding On
- What a tangled web we weave…
- 6am and the lies we tell ourselves
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wow this is one emotional statement Molli !!!!
let’s hope life is breathed into the unresponsive heart and a flicker of light dawns on the soul..
superb writing and emotion once again from a very talented lady
*smiles*
Thank you, Paul
Having said all of that, however, don’t think I’m
dismissing the times when women really ARE simply
being neurotic nags! It’s just that I think a great many men see ALL occasions of being questioned as an
interrogation. Given the way a lot of women – myself
included – go about checking for a pulse, it’s not
surprising that men wind up on the defensive…. but it is unfortunate given that that is the last result intended.
In defense of men in general, I don’t envy you creatures these days at all. After all, one minute you have women wanting you to be all sweet, sensitive and expressive and, the next, we’re turning around and saying, “Hang on, YOU can’t get upset about this. You’re supposed to be all strong, ‘manly’ and consoling!” You can’t win, can you?
I’m going to have to write another blog going more into this, I think. I am, however, really wanting to get this going as a discussion – a ‘he said, she said’ sort of thing. From women, I’d like to know how you behave when you’re feeling unheard and/or under appreciated and, from men, what do you think is expected of you in today’s society? Do you think you’re being asked the impossible, to be a “sensitive, new age guy” and the macho, stoic, solid-as-a-rock breadwinner at the same time? For the record, I do think that’s an impossible expectation to fulfil.
So, thoughts anyone?
Going back to my original theme, I found a poem recently posted by Nicole entitled Randomness which ends with the line “Nothing hurts like indifference.”
“Nothing hurts like indifference” – YES!! I think
indifference is more the opposite of love than hate is. At least, if it’s hate, they’re feeling SOMETHING! To not be acknowledged, heard, seen, cared for and considered… surely that is the antithesis of love.
I’m only going to touch on one point here to start with, because I think your whole blog could be an eight hour drinking session debate? Maybe thats a good idea in itsself? A drinking debate group? Probably been done before… Ahhrr stuff it, it’s just an excuse to drink for me, lets face it
Ok.. first of all, it all comes down to this joke – Why did the woman cross the road? Who cares, she shouldn’t have been out of the kitchen!!!… lol Just Kidding!!!!
Seriously though, there is something in that? I think one of the problems with our society today is that we don’t know our place anymore? Be it Male or Female!
Go back 50 years and as a male we knew that it was
our job to fix the gate, mow the lawns, wash the car and provide for our women and children. As a female we knew our job was to look after the house and cook the family meal (and maybe put out from time to time, he he…). Right or wrong, we knew our place. There was no confusion! So you are right in that respect, yes as males, and I can only speak for males, (sorry guys, you have ME as your speaker! a muso!!!) we are confused?
One of the problems is, that there is now no prototype coming through from the generation before. It’s new territory! How are we supposed to act and think??? Our fathers can’t advise us as to what to do, because they’ve become obsolete to everyone but there own wives. Can’t ask our grandfathers because they’re probably dead or at least half dead and it must be even more confusing for them trying to work out what the bloody hell this generation is doing? Maybe we can be immortalised as the “prototype generation”, the generation of males who had absolutely no idea what they were doing, but bridged the gap between old school Digger and SNAG Yuppies? So that our children might actually have a clue, and just maybe get it right?
So now that I’ve thrown that up in the air, that’s my
contribution to the blog, can we all drink now???
Olly. (The Wonderful)
Precisely, on all counts there (even the suggestion of a good drinking session!
. Thanks for your contribution and for giving it so much thought – very much appreciated and great to hear someone else’s
I’m kidding, but it’s not that much of a stretch, is it?
perspective on all of this. Much of what you’ve said is going to wind up in that other blog I think I’ll be writing with regard to society’s expectations of all us these days. Not to be spitting in the face of all of the previous generation’s women (and men) who fought so hard for “equality”, but there are so many pitfalls to having so many choices. Yes, I’m glad it is not an obligatory fact of my existence that I HAVE to remain chained to the kitchen sink…. but with so much independence, I think men are left wondering what their role is these days.
Frankly, women don’t really “need” you in the way we
have in the past. Does that independence from men
leave men feeling not just unnecessary, but unwanted
also? After all, there’s a part of the male psyche still of the belief that they are supposed to “take care” of their women….. what are you supposed to do since I’m more than capbable of changing a light globe, the car’s oil filter, tyres, etc. etc, myself? I guess now YOU all get to find out what it’s like to be relegated to the role of “look pretty, put out and shut up”!
Seems I’m already getting started on that next blog here, so I’ll shut up for the time being.
Anyone else have any thoughts on all of this? Please
feel free to elaborate to your heart’s content – all input is truly welcome and my thanks again to you, Olly, for taking the time to respond and share your ideas.
intensely personal, well thought out. you are so
expressive emotionally. I like it…a lot.
The rules of attraction remain more or less the same throughout a relationship.